Tuesday, June 09, 2009

"He Didn't Break Nothin'" - Update on Taser Story

Update on the Travis County Taser Story:

Sgt. Major Gary Griffin, Travis County Constable’s Office Precinct 3, applauded Deputy Chris Bieze's actions by saying he “didn't break nothin’.” (LINK)

You got that? Bieze didn't break nothin'. That's good. I'm glad he didn't break nothin'. We're all glad. Would've been too bad if he'd broke somethin'.

When Griffin said this, he was making the point that the woman should be glad Bieze used a Taser instead of a nightstick. People get hurt by nightsticks, you see, whereas it don't hurt people none at all hardly to get hit by a Taser, nor break nothin' neither.

It is revealed in the same story that Bieze is the Taser instructor for Precinct 3. Presumably, then, as the precinct’s resident authority on Tasers, he is aware of the potentially harmful effect of sending 50,000 volts of electricity into the neck of an elderly woman, to say nothing of the injury she might have suffered falling to the ground.

Yet he did it anyway!

You will recall that, earlier in the confrontation, Bieze shoved the woman—shoved her so hard it knocked her backwards a step or two, and could have easily knocked her down and broke somethin'. This was done for her safety, Bieze later said, to get her away from the traffic.

Which sounds dubious to me. Is this how you would have ushered an elderly woman away from traffic. Take the test below to compare your handling of the situation to the way Deputy Bieze handled it. It’s multiple choice, so it should be easy …

(1) You’re a cop. You’re trained to deal with the public. You pull over an elderly woman for speeding. She’s upset, refuses to sign the ticket. You order her out of the car. Once she’s out of the car, you realize you need to usher her away from the traffic for her safety. You have three choices. You can: (1) calmly explain why she needs to move and gently place your hand on her shoulder, (2) scream in her face and punch her violently in the shoulder, or (3) stick your thumb up your butt, waddle back to the squad car, and cram another donut into your fat swinish face.

(2) You’re a cop dealing with an upset elderly woman. You’ve just made the situation worse by screaming at her and shoving her. You’re also the precinct’s Taser instructor. You know that Tasering an elderly woman could cause cardiac arrest or that she could hurt herself and break somethin' in the fall. Faced with the dilemma of how to get her to comply with an order, you have four choices. You can: (1) Taser her anyway and hope you don’t break nothin’, (2) use your nightstick and hope you don’t break nothin’, (3) stop barking orders and try using the calm tone of voice one usually uses when dealing with agitated, elderly, or infirm persons, or (4) radio headquarters with your immediate resignation and get a job more suited to your abilities, such as shoveling shit at the dog pound.

(3) You’re a cop. You have just Tasered a 72-year-old grandmother. All the bad choices in your miserable, worthless, futile, pointless, rotten life have led up to this unfortunate moment. What can you do now to redeem yourself? You have three choices. You can: (1) render aid to the screaming injured woman who for all you know, might've broke somethin’ when she fell, (2) continue to bark orders and threaten her with more Taserings even though it is now impossible for her to move, or (3) take out your Taser, pull down your pants, and shoot yourself in the ass, you fucking idiot.