Zero Tolerance for Jaywalkers

(via Boing-Boing):

Evidently the Atlanta police have decided it would be best not to shoot old ladies, for a while at least. Maybe after some time has passed and the controversy has cooled off somewhat, they can return to that sport. But, in the meantime, how should they spend their time? Fighting real crime is out of the question, of course. So, now they are zealously enforcing the jaywalking laws.

One jaywalker, for instance, Felipe Fernandez-Armesto, a distinguished historian attending the annual meeting of the American Historical Association, was caught crossing in the middle of a street yesterday, and when he asked for the officer's identification was thrown to the ground, handcuffed, roughed up, and thrown into Atlanta’s infamously filthy and dangerous city jail for eight hours. Above is a photo of the incident. Notice eight officers responded to the call. My, my, what a bunch of pussy willows the Atlanta police must be, that it should take eight of them to handle one jaywalker. More evidence that we live in a Sissy Pants Nation.

Oh, when did this nation go wrong? When did our policemen cease to be heroes willing to risk life and limb to protect the weak from genuine criminals? When did they become schoolyard bullies, Butch McTuffies who instead prey on the weak, beating up the smaller boys for their lunch money, grinding their eyeglasses into the dirt, yet running and hiding and pissing in fear when a worthier opponent happens along? When, oh when, did Mr. Policeman become a worthless thug, a craven coward, a loathsome load of pure, unadulterated scum? When, oh when, did it happen?

“Our job ith tho difficult,” they lisp, “we are in thuch danger out there on thtreet, we need more weaponth, we need more gunth, we need more Tatherth, we need more teargath, we need more nightthtickth, and more handcuffth, and more tough lawth to help uth do our job, and more cooperathion from the court thythtem, and we need to get rid of the Conthtituthion and that nathty old Bill of Rightth that ith making our jobth tho difficult, but motht of all we need more copth, there are thimply not enough of uth out there on the thtreet to fight all the terrible jaywalkerth …” and on and on they whine, and mewl, the Nancy Men, the Sister Boys, the bedwetting babies and petulant brats in uniform who patrol our streets in the Sissy Pants Nation.

O Sissy Pants, Sissy Pants, Sissy Pants Nation, the cops hide from criminals in the Sissy Pants Nation.

O Sissy Pants, Sissy Pants, Sissy Pants Nation, the cops beat up jaywalkers in the Sissy Pants Nation.

O Sissy Pants, Sissy Pants, Sissy Pants Nation, the cops kill old ladies in the Sissy Pants Nation.

O Sissy Pants, Sissy Pants, Sissy Pants Nation, the cops wear lace undies in the Sissy Pants Nation ...