Friday, November 16, 2007

Another Zero Tolerance Outrage

Once again, a child has been suspended from school for drawing a gun. This time it was a first grader. Not only did the little terrorist draw a gun, he drew a stick figure killing another stick figure with the gun.

Oh my god! What are we going to do?!?! Help! Help! Everybody run! The stick figure’s got a gun! Raise the terror alert to Red! Lock down the school! Call the SWAT team! Send in the Air Force! Nuke the stick figures! Pass a law against stick figures! Round up all the stick figures! Send ‘em to Gitmo! Waterboard ‘em! Make ‘em talk! Help! Help! The stick figures have guns! Help! The stick figures hate our freedoms! Help! Help! Kill the stick figures! Shoot ‘em all and let God sort ‘em out! Shoot the stick figures! They’re going to kill us all! We’re scared! We’re scared! Help! Help! Suspend the Constitution! Declare martial law! Help! Stick figures are everywhere, and they all have guns! Help! Help! Mommy! Mommy! Help! Save us from the stick figures! Oh dear God in Heaven please protect us in this our trembling hour of fear and dread and pants-wetting terror. Oh please dear God, please smite the stick figures, smite them all! Rain down fire from Heaven! Start the Apocalypse now! End the world! End the world! The stick figures have taken over! We’re all doomed! Help! Help! Save us from the stick figures! Help! Help! Zero tolerance for stick figures! Zero tolerance for stick figures! RED ALERT! RED ALERT! RED ALERT! RED ALERT! HELP! HELP! WE’RE SCARED!!!!!!