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Howdy Doody's Christmas


Howdy Doody Colgate Toothpaste Ad (1955)

Oh Horrors: Another Kindergartner with a Knife

Only in a Sissy Pants Nation do we read such headlines as the following:

Kindergartner Accused of Knife Threat in Joliet

It was just four weeks ago that we read another story about a kindergartner and a knife. In that case, a five-year-old boy carried a pocket knife to school. He did not threaten anyone with it, he only used it to open his sealed lunch. And yet he was suspended.

In this latest story, “threatening language” (whatever that means) did occur when the kindergartner displayed a penknife to his classmates. One of the classmates received a minor cut on the finger when he touched the knife.

Certainly, in this situation, some sort of disciplinary action was appropriate, such as taking the knife away from the child, lecturing him on his behavior, and telling his parents about the incident. But, in the Sissy Pants Nation, all infractions are equal. A minor cut to the finger is as dire as a cut to the jugular. The boy was removed from school, and now school officials are considering whether or not to give him a two-year suspension or place him in an “alternative” school.

A five-year-old boy waving a penknife around and using “threatening language” is not necessarily a future homicidal maniac, and sending him to alternative school may do more harm than good to the child. For all we know, he was simply playing. At that age, children are unable to fully discern the difference between fantasy and reality, or the consequences of certain actions. This is not abnormal; this is a normal part of growing up.

When I was a kindergartner, I did a very foolish thing. One morning, before class, I walked up behind two boys who were talking and thought it would be humorous if I knocked their heads together, as I had seen Moe of the Three Stooges do. I wanted to hear the funny “bonk” sound. So, without thinking the matter through for more than one second, I put my plan into action. But, to my surprise, there was no "bonk" sound. Instead, there was a sickening thud. Then the boys began crying and one began bleeding profusely from the mouth.

I ran away in terror. The kindergarten was housed in a big old house with many rooms and closets. I found a closet and hid there, crying. I could hear the boys back in the school room screaming and wailing that Mack had done it. I knew I was in bad trouble, the worst I had ever been in. I fully expected the cops to be called. And, had this been a Sissy Pants Nation, the cops most certainly would have been called and I would have a criminal record to this day.

But this had not become a Sissy Pants Nation yet. When the teacher found me, she lectured me and warned me never to do it again, and when my mother picked me up in the afternoon she was told about the incident and she lectured me too. Then, that evening, my father lectured me and explained that the Three Stooges were actors whose antics were carefully coordinated, with the sound effects added later. That was the day I learned the difference between movies and real life, and to this day I have not knocked any more heads together.

Later, as a boy, I sometimes got into fights. Most boys did, and if it happened on school property we were punished. But one thing that never happened, and would have been unthinkable, was to be arrested. But, in the Sissy Pants Nation, even schoolboy scuffles are matters for the police and headline news:

Boy Arrested in After-School Fight

"Model Pupil" Ends Up with Criminal Record for a Push in the Playground

The second story linked above happened in the UK. It seems that the UK is also a Sissy Pants Nation.

Sissy Pants Nation, Sissy Pants Nation, schoolyard scuffles and cut fingers are headline news in the Sissy Pants, Sissy Pants, Sissy Pants Nation …

Let's Watch Captain Kangaroo

Last night’s assault of talk show host Jack Blood by police officers on Sixth Street is only the latest in a long series of such incidents to occur in Austin's famed party district.

The most well-known examples are the pepper-spraying of the band Ozomatli and audience members when they formed a congo line outside a nightclub during the South by Southwest Music Conference, the assault and arrest for public intoxication (charges later dropped) of actor Jason Patric when he did not move quickly enough in response to an officer’s order to step onto the curb, and a Mardi Gras incident several years ago in which the police dealt with a minor altercation by indiscriminately firing pepper spray and wooden bullets at hundreds of innocent persons as they exited the nightclubs.

And now, sadly, we must add to the list last night's incident in which my good friend Jack Blood was pepper-sprayed in the face, suffered multiple injuries (including a broken nose), and was falsely arrested for public intoxication, when he had done nothing more than come to the assistance of a man who was being beaten by two other men.

We know about the attacks on Jack, Ozomatli, and Jason Patric, because they happened to prominent persons. Rest assured these incidents are only the tip of the iceberg; there are many more non-prominent persons who have been similarly mistreated by police on Sixth Street, yet whose stories have gone unreported.

In Jack's case, I find it curious that his only “crime” was performing a job that the police themselves should have been doing. Where were the police when they were actually needed? Why did they show up when the incident was over, and why did they ask no questions or do any kind of investigation before arresting the person who had done their job for them? Yes, it's very curious.

Jack Blood Assaulted by Austin Police

PRESS RELEASE:

On Sunday morning, December 17, 2006, syndicated radio host Jack Blood was Pepper sprayed and arrested by Austin PD. He received multiple injuries to his Face, hands, arms, back, and legs in a 12 hour ordeal in police custody.

Following an after party for “The Arab League” with many fans and supporters of Jack Blood at the Jackalope on Austin Texas’s famous 6th street, Jack was standing at the back alley exit of the club waiting to leave, and taking to fans. Out of nowhere a fight broke out between two Hispanic males and one Caucasian victim who turned out to be an employee of the Jackalope.

The victim was knocked unconscious by the two perpetrators who were continuing to attack the defenseless victim. Without any fear for his own safety, Jack Blood jumped in and fended off the attackers and chased them away while dozens of onlookers witnessed the mêlée.

As Jack was standing over the unconscious victim to protect him from any possible further attacks until an ambulance could arrive, an Austin Police officer (APD Harvey 4694) came rushing into the scene and without identifying himself, or asking questions of the gathering mob… Proceeded to pepper spray Mr. Blood directly in the eyes, before violently cuffing him and hauling him off to jail.

No attempt was made to investigate the beating, or to identify the suspects of the assault.

The Victim was rushed to Breckenridge Hospital with a broken Nose and multiple injuries.

Jack Blood was transferred from the county jail receiving quarters to Breckenridge Hospital for high blood pressure and hypertension, where he was rigidly handcuffed to a gurney for 4 hours. He was not allowed to use a restroom, and several officers told him he would have to urinate in his cloths, an unacceptable command. Bottled urine samples were later illegally obtained by the authorities against Mr. Blood’s will.

“I did not ask to go to the hospital and refused treatment” said Jack Blood. “As I was not given the proper respect by my jailers, I fought back by unleashing a 3 hour Info-Tirade against Officer Harvey, making sure to wake him up every time he closed his eyes to sleep. Fair is fair and I will admit that they had a tiger by the tail trying to hold me,” said Blood.

A bit of humor interjected itself into the story when the doctor treating Mr. Blood admitted several times to both Blood and his jailer that he was a “Big Fan” of Deadline Live with Jack Blood, heard daily on 100.1 FM in Austin Texas. He vouched for Mr. Blood’s character to no avail.

Jack was released Sunday Afternoon with a promise to appear later in the week to face charges of Public Intoxication. “Yes I had a few drinks,” said Blood, “But I was in no way intoxicated, or a threat to the public. Indeed I believe that I was doing the officer’s job by jumping in to save a defenseless victim of what may have been a racially motivated attack. There are multiple witness, including the victim who are prepared to back my story,” Jack went on to say. “I Plan to fight the charges and clear my name.”

If this is the kind of treatment that Americans are to receive when standing up to help a fellow citizen in need, then we do indeed find ourselves in troubled times.

www.jackblood.com is currently awaiting a statement from the APD.

DEADLINE LIVE with Jack Blood airs live 2 – 4PM Central time on the Genesis Communications Network out of Minnesota, and can be heard for free in over 70 countries worldwide at www.gcnlive.com or on AM and FM radio stations across the USA.