Arrows, Chalk, Powder = Terror

In the Sissy Pants nation, you don’t have to actually break the law to be arrested and charged with a felony. You can do something completely legal and harmless, with no malevolent intent whatsoever, but if someone misinterprets what you have done as a terror attack, then you are in trouble.

Consider the case of Daniel Salchow and his sister Dorothee who sprinkled flour in an IKEA parking lot to mark a runners’ route. Someone saw the flour and assumed a bioterror attack was underway. The cops were called, the Haz-Mat team shut down the store, the area was evacuated, news bulletins broke into local broadcasts, news copters hovered in the sky, traffic was tied up for hours, people cowered in fear, grown men cried, etc. Over flour.

Salchow heard the news bulletins and did the responsible thing. He hurried back to the store and explained to the police that the powder was only flour, explained why it was there—and was arrested on a felony charge of disturbing the peace.

City spokeswoman and former Miss Cuba (?), Jessica Mayorga, defended the arrests: “You see powder connected by arrows and chalk, you never know. It could be a terrorist, it could be something more serious …”

I didn’t know terrorists were connecting powder by arrows and chalk. Now that I know, I’ll be sure to watch for it in the future.

O what a bunch of squealing piglets we become when arrows and chalk and powder combine. O what a bunch of nervous Nellies. O what a bunch of wilting Wilmas. O what a bunch of frightened Frans, jumpy Janes, panicky Pams, frightened Fifis, and anxious Annies in the Sissy Pants, Sissy Pants, Sissy Pants Nation …